Amelia Curran

 
Amelia Curran played at the Sundre Arts Centre on Friday, October 16. She is a Juno Award winning songstress, said to be the next 'Leonard Cohen'. I really wanted to go, but knew that an evening concert would be just too much. Then Di surprised me. She and the Music Committee of the Sundre Arts Centre Music Series had reached out to Amelia. Without hesitation, Amelia agreed to a House Concert and came to perform for me before her show at the Arts Center. It was so special and I am very grateful to Amelia and the Music Committee. Thank you.

I want to talk about how some days are frustrating. I can no longer do computer work, photography, read, write. The aphasia is worse, even more since my last seizure.

I have started doing Healing Touch. I don't know how it works but I want to do it again. I find it helps to relax and sleep. I don't need much help to sleep though. 

Forrest celebrated his first birthday with us on September 18. We are the September birthday boys.  Sebastian was Nana's helper, picking up the balloons and chocolate cake, wrapping presents and then opening the presents! I don't know how long I have, so I am enjoying as much time with my kids and grandkids as I can.

I still enjoy being with family, especially my three grandchildren:  Sebastian 3 yrs., Forrest 1 yr. and Maeve turned 1 yr on November 21. We also celebrated with family, balloons and a Winnie the Pooh cake. Maeve really enjoyed eating her cake. It was special to be there and celebrate. I still enjoy being with friends and reminiscing.

However, there are some days I have never felt so sad.
I am ready to die.

I can no longer walk or even stand.
I can no longer read or write.
My vision, right sided weakness and aphasia are declining.
It is hard to understand what people are saying to me.
Communication takes all my energy.

I am happy because I know my family and friends are going to be ok.

I do not have to deal with pain.
I sleep much of the time.
It feels good.
But I am tired of feeling tired all the time.

For everything I am going through some days are good and some days are bad.

  

Melancholy thoughts carve out an interior space

where wisdom can take up residence. 

~Thomas Moore 

I walked a mile with Pleasure
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word she said;
But, oh! The things I learned from her, 
When Sorrow walked with me. 

~Robert Browning Hamilton  



 Hal Irvine

 

It's not the same without pelicans

This is a poem I shared with Di in our early dating years. I know of it from watching the TV show 'Laugh-In'. It means something different to me now than it used to. We found it on a blog called CinnamonOpus Says.

It's Not The Same Without Pelicans
by Henry Gibson

It's not the same without pelicans, you know?
I mean, dinosaurs... Well, they're too big to miss...
And besides, it was their own fault.
But we all grew up with pelicans!
I hope the ducks hold out.

At the end of May, my oncologist and I decided to stop the Avastin infusions as we felt they were no longer helping. The non-enhancing tumour has made most of my brain diffusely abnormal. Seizures during May 12-14 have caused increased right sided deficit and increased aphasia. I am now just on anti-convulsants. I am doing well and enjoying one day at a time but it is not easy. My kids and grandkids bring me so much joy.