Longer Than Expected

2015 started very well.  January was a good month.  I felt much better.  I was able to stay awake more in the day which allowed me to work on scanning my slides and enjoy listening to audio books

Since July, I have been on a half dose of Avastin every two weeks.  The frequent trips to Calgary are quite draining however.  It takes about 2 or 3 days for me to recover.  After such a good January, we have decided to try treatment every three weeks now instead of every two.  I wonder if this change will make any difference. 

Lately, I haven't been feeling as good.  Particularly since my last Avastin treatment which was two weeks ago.  I am less able.  I can only walk about 10 steps.  The wheelchair is my only way of getting around which is very frustrating.  The weakness on my left side has increased which means I am not able to do as much as I could in the past.  My right side, which is most impacted by the tumour, is also weaker than it used to be, especially from my forearm to my fingers. 

I have just completed my slide scanning project, so I am starting a new project on the computer (organizing my files and decluttering!).  But this is not going well.  I don't know if it because of the tumour progressing or if it is because of the effort and energy I need to doing something new (brain training?!).

It is hard to talk about things as it takes a lot of energy to say what I want.  I feel like I am getting worse again and yet I am not sure.  I felt so well in January and February.  For some reason I was feeling good but I am not sure now.  It feels like I am declining again even though we decided to go to every three weeks with Avastin because I was feeling good. 

So much is unknown.... 

I chose this photo of a deer who was in our backyard because in some ways it thinks it should be afraid but really, it is not afraid.